Lamp
From H, 2019.
We no longer talk.
2019.9.30
I don’t really know why I’ve started writing again.
A few days ago, I saw a video saying you shouldn’t look at screens before bed, so I guess I’ll just write something instead.
...
It’s been so long, and I still haven’t gotten to the point —
I just really, really miss him.
Yang said that if you think of something foolish, you should write it down so you won’t end up saying it everywhere.
So here I am, writing.
The other day I was out in a car. The weather wasn’t great — the sunset was filtering through the clouds, soft and pink, and it immediately made me think of him. The sky looked exactly like it did that day on the beach.
I don’t think the weather has ever been good when we met, so now whenever the sky turns dull and heavy, I think of him again. I really love overcast days in California. Maybe the way I like those grey skies is the same way I like him.
It’s really stupid...
Joji’s songs are so good. Why did it have to be him who introduced them to me? Every time I hear those songs, I think of those people. Lately I just can’t stop. I want to see him, and I don’t.
I’m scared that if we meet again, it’ll only make me sad.
He probably already has someone new. He was never the kind to stay in love for long... I guess I’m not either, but lately it’s like I’m under a spell.
I hope you’re thinking of me, too.
If you’re not, then when the weather clears up, I’ll let you go ❤️